You must be thinking that I am just a random teenage girl. What the hell do I know about parenting, right? Well, you are right. I don't have any kids, so I don't know how to raise kids. At all. But I am a teenager. Hence, I know how our mind works. (Well, at least a girl's mind. I have no idea how a guy's mind works) I know how we work. So, I am going to let you know a little secret to earning your daughter's respect, love, and compliance. All you need to do is just one thing.
TRUST! Earn their trust. Now, you must be thinking, "What the hell? Our kids already trust us! We provide them with everything they need, don't we?" Yes. Yes, you do provide us with everything we need and we love you for that. Really, we do. We just do not show it because you do not show us your love. I mean, I know that your affection is hidden in your actions, but we aren't psychics, are we? We won't know until and unless you show it, and when you show it, we will take a step, too.
Now, back to the topic. We trust you, alright. We trust enough to let you know somethings. But, there are somethings we are not very sure about. There are some secrets we can not tell you in a million years! You know when there are somethings we kids say that hurt you so much? Well, sometimes you say some stuff that either hurts us so much that we can't express our feelings, or threaten us so much that we can't say anything to you.
Take my parents for example. I love them. They are my life. God bless them. But sometimes they just hurt me so much that I decide to never tell them anything. Today, I was telling my mother about how a friend of mine was on a house arrest because her father discovered that she had a boyfriend. Now, my mother instead of showing some affection towards the girl, she threatened me! She said that if she came to know about my boyfriend, she will do worse to me. Now, do you really think I will tell her about my boyfriend? I would rather die! On the other side, my father. He once said that if I was caught with my boyfriend, he will leave the family and go away somewhere. I mean, I was so threatened at that time! Now, you don't want to do that if you want to know more about your daughter by her.
I mean, this is the age for relationships and breakups! There is nothing wrong in getting into a romantic relationship with a guy! I don't know why you parents don't understand that. I know, you will say that you are worried about you little baby girl. It's cute to be worried about your children. You probably think that the guy she is dating is a wrong guy. You are being protective an there is nothing wrong with that. The only thing wrong is that you are being over protective. Your way of protecting your child is very wrong.
Now think of it this way. The guy is wrong. He is a bad guy and everything else. How will you even know what kind of guy he is unless and until you've met him? How will you know he's bad unless and until you know that he is your girl's boyfriend? And how will you know until she tells you that he is her boyfriend, right? What if she gets into trouble? (Gasp!) What if that guy threatens to spill the beans in front of you? She will commit suicide rather than letting you know about it. You know why? Because she doesn't trust you enough to tell you that she is in trouble. She will try to handle it on her own, but for how long? Unless you know, that burden won't lift off and she will never be happy. The guy will keep blackmailing her and will make her do everything he wants her to do. EVERYTHING!
Now, you know the problem, I guess. Now let's focus on the solution, shall we? You want your daughter to speak her heart to you. If you want that, then it's high time you become a little broadminded. Just let your child know that it's okay to tell you. You won't hurt her. Tell her what's right and what's wrong. Tell her that 16 and dating is okay, but 16 and pregnant is not. She is your daughter, she will take care. She knows what her boundaries are. Tell her that if anything does go wrong, you've got her back. Make her trust you. She will love, respect, and comply to you even more.
When she comes back from her date, don't throw her any glares. Instead, ask her how her date went. Don't instruct her not to kiss (because that's inevitable in a relationship). Just ask her about her first kiss. Ask her about her guy. Meet her guy. See how he is. Maybe, he is a good guy and is improving your daughter.
Secondly, imagine you've just came home tired and your kid starts attacking you with orders/requests to cook for them, or do something for them. You will feel like slapping her/him, won't you? Similarly, when your kid comes home from school or college, instead of asking them to do work, let them cool down. You want your work to be done? Have patience. Ask them politely. No matter how wild we kids are, we have feelings. We also need affection. We too need someone to give us water when we come home tired like we give you water when you come home tired.
Thirdly, don't keep criticizing your child. Don't ever compare us with other kids. How will you feel when we compare you with other parents? Bad, right? We feel bad, too. In fact, we do compare you to others' parents. How cool they are to let their kids have a night out. How nice they are to let their kids wear whatever they want. These are our thoughts.
Last, but not the least. It's for the parents of a girl. Now, I know you want your daughter to be safe. But, LET THEM WEAR WHAT THEY WANT TO! We girls do not dress up to impress boys! Okay, sometimes we do. But not everyone and not always. We wear those clothes because we feel confident when we wear those clothes. We feel like for once, we look beautiful. But then, you people break our dreams just like that! You don't let us wear one piece, or shorts, or crop tops. Those clothes are in fashion. We like to follow the trend. There is nothing wrong about that. So what our bra shows? It's not inappropriate! We girls fight for feminism and against the chauvinists. Do you realize how we feel when our parents are chauvinists themselves?
This was my advice on how to handle teenagers. Trust me, you'll need it. Know in your heart that we love you. Somethings are just essential for you to know. Which I told you just now. Thank you. Love you, parents!
TRUST! Earn their trust. Now, you must be thinking, "What the hell? Our kids already trust us! We provide them with everything they need, don't we?" Yes. Yes, you do provide us with everything we need and we love you for that. Really, we do. We just do not show it because you do not show us your love. I mean, I know that your affection is hidden in your actions, but we aren't psychics, are we? We won't know until and unless you show it, and when you show it, we will take a step, too.
Now, back to the topic. We trust you, alright. We trust enough to let you know somethings. But, there are somethings we are not very sure about. There are some secrets we can not tell you in a million years! You know when there are somethings we kids say that hurt you so much? Well, sometimes you say some stuff that either hurts us so much that we can't express our feelings, or threaten us so much that we can't say anything to you.
Take my parents for example. I love them. They are my life. God bless them. But sometimes they just hurt me so much that I decide to never tell them anything. Today, I was telling my mother about how a friend of mine was on a house arrest because her father discovered that she had a boyfriend. Now, my mother instead of showing some affection towards the girl, she threatened me! She said that if she came to know about my boyfriend, she will do worse to me. Now, do you really think I will tell her about my boyfriend? I would rather die! On the other side, my father. He once said that if I was caught with my boyfriend, he will leave the family and go away somewhere. I mean, I was so threatened at that time! Now, you don't want to do that if you want to know more about your daughter by her.
I mean, this is the age for relationships and breakups! There is nothing wrong in getting into a romantic relationship with a guy! I don't know why you parents don't understand that. I know, you will say that you are worried about you little baby girl. It's cute to be worried about your children. You probably think that the guy she is dating is a wrong guy. You are being protective an there is nothing wrong with that. The only thing wrong is that you are being over protective. Your way of protecting your child is very wrong.
Now think of it this way. The guy is wrong. He is a bad guy and everything else. How will you even know what kind of guy he is unless and until you've met him? How will you know he's bad unless and until you know that he is your girl's boyfriend? And how will you know until she tells you that he is her boyfriend, right? What if she gets into trouble? (Gasp!) What if that guy threatens to spill the beans in front of you? She will commit suicide rather than letting you know about it. You know why? Because she doesn't trust you enough to tell you that she is in trouble. She will try to handle it on her own, but for how long? Unless you know, that burden won't lift off and she will never be happy. The guy will keep blackmailing her and will make her do everything he wants her to do. EVERYTHING!
Now, you know the problem, I guess. Now let's focus on the solution, shall we? You want your daughter to speak her heart to you. If you want that, then it's high time you become a little broadminded. Just let your child know that it's okay to tell you. You won't hurt her. Tell her what's right and what's wrong. Tell her that 16 and dating is okay, but 16 and pregnant is not. She is your daughter, she will take care. She knows what her boundaries are. Tell her that if anything does go wrong, you've got her back. Make her trust you. She will love, respect, and comply to you even more.
When she comes back from her date, don't throw her any glares. Instead, ask her how her date went. Don't instruct her not to kiss (because that's inevitable in a relationship). Just ask her about her first kiss. Ask her about her guy. Meet her guy. See how he is. Maybe, he is a good guy and is improving your daughter.
Secondly, imagine you've just came home tired and your kid starts attacking you with orders/requests to cook for them, or do something for them. You will feel like slapping her/him, won't you? Similarly, when your kid comes home from school or college, instead of asking them to do work, let them cool down. You want your work to be done? Have patience. Ask them politely. No matter how wild we kids are, we have feelings. We also need affection. We too need someone to give us water when we come home tired like we give you water when you come home tired.
Thirdly, don't keep criticizing your child. Don't ever compare us with other kids. How will you feel when we compare you with other parents? Bad, right? We feel bad, too. In fact, we do compare you to others' parents. How cool they are to let their kids have a night out. How nice they are to let their kids wear whatever they want. These are our thoughts.
Last, but not the least. It's for the parents of a girl. Now, I know you want your daughter to be safe. But, LET THEM WEAR WHAT THEY WANT TO! We girls do not dress up to impress boys! Okay, sometimes we do. But not everyone and not always. We wear those clothes because we feel confident when we wear those clothes. We feel like for once, we look beautiful. But then, you people break our dreams just like that! You don't let us wear one piece, or shorts, or crop tops. Those clothes are in fashion. We like to follow the trend. There is nothing wrong about that. So what our bra shows? It's not inappropriate! We girls fight for feminism and against the chauvinists. Do you realize how we feel when our parents are chauvinists themselves?
This was my advice on how to handle teenagers. Trust me, you'll need it. Know in your heart that we love you. Somethings are just essential for you to know. Which I told you just now. Thank you. Love you, parents!
LATER!
