A Healthy Crush

CRUSH

We all have several truths in life. Some turn into facts and some remain our point-of-views. The facts are usually relevant to every other person of the same age group, gender, or sexuality. Something common that we share with strangers. Isn't it weird and amusing at the same time?

In those facts, there is one fact. We all have had a crush in our lives. No matter who we are. No matter how old we are. No matter how rich or poor we are. No matter what gender we belong to. Nothing matters. It is a universal fact, that every human being has had a crush in their lives, even if it’s just once.

If you go telling me that you haven’t had a crush on another human being even once in your life, do you know what I’ll say? I’ll just laugh. I will laugh so loudly on your face that even France will hear me.

 I exaggerate sometimes. You’ll have to deal with it.

So anyway, having a crush is not worth being ashamed. It just means that you are sane and there still is some hope for humanity. Having a crush is beautiful in its own way. Hey, I’m not saying that it’s not painful at all. But don’t you just (sometimes) love the feeling of warmth in your heart? Don’t you just that you’re able to love?

There are many types of crushes. Some turn into serious ones while some are just for fun. No matter how much the density of a crush is, you’ll behave the same for that person at least for some amount of time. After that it depends on how much you are into them.

1.    You will stalk them on Facebook (or other social media):

It always starts with Facebook, doesn't it? So, there’s a person you like. Sometimes it just starts with how pretty or handsome they look. You naturally want to know more about them other than their good looks. You want to know what they like, how humorous they are, what do they like to eat, what their hobbies are, etc. How will you get to know? Talking to them? Pfft! Yeah, right!

You will never have the balls to ask them personal questions unless you’re really confident. What do you do? You stalk them on Facebook and find out what they’re like through their status, pictures, posts, yada, yada.

Or, if you want to talk to them and your tongue sticks to the roof automatically when you try to start a conversation, you try to talk though your fingers. You text them on Facebook. You can lie to him/her about yourself, you can laugh in front of him/her even if he/she isn’t funny, and whatnot. Honestly, you talk better through your fingers than your mouth.

2.    You will listen carefully to whatever nonsense they’re talking about:

You want to look good before your special one, right? You will always listen to them carefully even if you don’t agree with them. You will nod your head time to time even if you’ve zoned out and are thinking about your future kids. You’ll just say yes to whatever they have to say. I am not saying that it’s right. It’s not.

Although, it’s not totally your fault. Your brain is trained for survival instincts. It will send the messages it feels fit according to the situation. At that time, you want that person in your life more than food. You will automatically do what feels fit for getting that person. You forget about yourself. You forget that it’s not what you really want.

3.    You will always try to be around him:

You want a chance with that guy. What do you do? Try to catch his attention. If you succeed, then you try to always be around him. You don’t like not being with him. You always invite him to parties, movies, family gatherings, funerals. You never leave a chance of being alone with him.

I remember trying to go on alone walks and other places with my crush. We used to be together so much that people used to mistake us as a couple. I sometimes wish it were true.

4.    It will be a big deal when he appreciates you:

Do you remember those shriek moments when your crush says that the dress looks good on you? “Hey, you look stunning today!” or just the expression when he checks you out? You say that it’s not a big deal, you already know that you’re stunning. But your heart beats like a maniac when you experience that.

You will wear more of that outfit because you know that he likes it on you. I still remember that one time my crush checked me out. Like, actually checked me out. It will create a new hope in you. That feeling is amazing!

5.    You will smile much more:

Don’t you love that feeling when you remember something he said earlier which really made you laugh or smile? No matter where you are, a bus, a party, a funeral, you will smile broadly at that thought. Your heart does a weird dance and that makes you smile instantly. It’s like, you go in a flashback and never want to come back.

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I remember that time when that used to happen to me. Okay, I am going to quit lying. I still have that feeling. Many of the times I got glares and confused looks by people around me. “Are you okay?” they’d ask me. I’d tell them what I just remembered. They’d just shake their heads. After a while, they got used to it.

There are many types of crush. Fictional, infatuation, best friend crush, and whatnot. Even I had crush on many people. Some of them were friends, some fictional, some movie stars, but for some time I used to think that we really connected, and I thought it may turn into love. Stupid, right? Having a crush on someone is painful and I know that. But it’s an inevitable part of your life.

You can’t deny it. You can’t stop it. You shouldn't regret having a crush on someone. In the future, you will think of that person and laugh at your choice. It’s natural. It actually shows that your mind, body, and heart are still functioning.

There is a fine line between having a crush and obsession. Having a crush is totally healthy. On the other hand, being obsessed with someone can turn out to be dangerous at some point of time. When you have a crush on someone, the most you can do is stalk them on Facebook. Stalking them personally? Well that’s obsession.

Well, let’s state the obvious, shall we? This won’t make them fall in love with you. Instead, it will push them away from you. This obsession can be really harmful. People even end up killing others for that. If you want an example; watch the Hindi movie starring Shah Rukh Khan, Dar, or an English movie, Crush.

Fact: obsession takes place when a person can’t get the other. They end up hurting their ego and hurting many people in the way.

My advice: Have a crush. Fall in love. “Aww” and “Oooh” at their pictures. No problem in that, but you must know when to stop. Now, you may ask, ‘How do we know when to stop?’

The answer is really simple: Whenever you start crying for them. Just stop right there, because shit just got real. Try to move on after that. How to move on? Keep asking/reminding yourself if it will be as good in practical as it sounds in theory. Maybe it’s just the idea of being together attracts you. Maybe when you do get together, you won’t like them.  What if you end up hating them? You won’t like that!

Start with just deciding that you have to get over that person.

After that, repeat this mantra: It’s just the theory I like, and not the practical.

Start focusing on important things. Do you want your entire life to rotate around just one person? There are things more important than love. Like, chocolate, or food! Just kidding. There are other things, too. Your career, passion, dreams. You want to focus on that now.

Love is a part of your life, not life itself.

If you still can’t move on, you’re screwed!

A crush on a best friend is the most painful one!

My Sister

I have many friends. I know that it’s very hard to believe, but I do. Those friends have younger sisters. I have to listen them whine about their little siblings all day long. Okay, that was exaggeration, but they do whine….sometimes. I mean, I know that they loooove their siblings. Obviously.

Anyway, the things they tell me about their sisters or brothers make me want to give them a big bear hug. Then, I think of my sister. She’s a year younger than me. The other siblings blackmail my friends about telling their secrets to their parents, and some even do. But my sister? She’s probably fat because of keeping my secrets in her tummy.

I mean, obviously we fight a lot like any other pair of siblings. She’s a pain in the arse sometimes. She just has a way of making everyone do whatever she wants. There’s a definite pattern.

She asks you to do it.

You say no.

She says ‘please’ several times.

You hold your ground because you are either lazy or you’re just tired of doing things for her. (Just ugggh!)

She doesn’t give up. Then comes the water works.

You hate it. You can’t face it, but you try to ignore it. But water works? Seriously? Who can ignore them, seriously?

You give up and surrender.

She goes ‘muahaha’!

That bitch just gets under my skin sometimes. What else do I hate about her? She keeps nagging me to do what’s right. I hate that. Worse, I hate to admit, but she’s right most of the time. (‘All the time’ would be more correct, but I don’t want to hurt my ego.)  I practically hate her being right all the time. Like, stop being right!!!!!

But other than that, I hate nothing about her. I mean, what’s there to hate? She’s my soul sister, or soul-mate-sister as she would put it. She keeps all of my secrets hidden. All of them! She hears everything I say, and doesn’t ever interrupt. I mean, how does she do it?

She has these theories she makes up by herself (I guess). Those theories have always helped me when need be. She’s so smart, and she has all those talents I will never have in my entire life.  She can convince my parents to do stuff, which I can never do. I always end up fighting with them.

We have some quality-sister-times in which we talk. Really talk. Listen to each other and talk about each other’s problems.  Though we can’t have that everyday obviously, I look forward to those quality times. She can always motivate or demotivate me. She has my kryptonite, which I don’t even know what is. Her opinions matter. I can never take a step before asking her. Be it shopping, be it life decisions.

So yeah, I basically depend on her. She has access to my entire personal life. She knows everything about me. Whenever anything special happens, I NEED to tell her that instant. She makes me feel better about myself in just a matter of sentences. I always want to read what I wrote to her as soon as I write it. As I said earlier, her opinion matters!

I don’t know if anyone has a sister like I do. She’s a weird combination of different qualities. She can move mountains for me, but she can’t bring a glass of water for me. And in my own weird way, I love her. I love her to the core, and I will never stop loving her.

I just hope she doesn’t read all of this, but if you are, you bitch! Just know that I love you even if I don’t show it sometimes. When I’m busy ignoring the world and you think that you don’t matter to me, just know that you matter to me even more than mummy and papa. Just know this in your heart and mind, because I am never going to say this to you.

Love you, bitch!